All Formulas In Google Sheets Begin With The Following Symbol Just How Big Is This Onion – The Releasing Of Fear

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Just How Big Is This Onion – The Releasing Of Fear

I recently released a large layer of fear. As I did so, I realized that this is a real onion that I have here; it has to be the Walla Walla Special. An onion with endless layers that has a tendency to make my eyes water and the smell of which makes my toes curl.

First, let me explain what I am referring to when I talk about releasing fear-based beliefs. Several years ago, I began a self-discovery of all the conventions, habits, practices, beliefs, and actions that I have adopted over the years on my spiritual path. Slowly, I began to realize that many of these items had attached to them a deep, sometimes imperceptible, thought that my creations were not enough, that they were not worthy, or that they denied an all-powerful, omnipresent, all-encompassing source. For simplicity let’s call him GOD. If GOD is all these “Os” and I am made in his likeness, am I not all these things? So when I engage in an activity or belief that subconsciously or externally says otherwise, I am telling the Universe, Spirit, GOD that I do not believe I am made like him and that I am not enough or somehow unworthy. By participating in these activities, I can say, let me do this to amplify something that has no chance of ever being amplified. IT’S ALL POWERFUL ALL PRESENT ALL INTELLIGENT. The only thing I can do to empower IT in my life is to say yes; to admit that I am It.

Now that said, let’s tell a story. This story is a bit on the Woo Woo side. Try not to judge me as I allow you to enter my world of mild insanity. You don’t have to believe everything I say here, but know that it has brought me a long way down the path of light and love.

This particular adventure began with the goal of discovering what a shaman is. For years I had been listening to “The Four Agreements” on CD where Don Miguel Ruiz referred to shamans and the shamanic way. In his book The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz writes about “surrendering to the angel of death.” He mentioned the shamanic path as a way to transcend our “law book” and surrender to the “angel of death.” I was curious, I had never heard of the term shaman. So in my spare time I Googled shamans and read about them and their practices. I thought it might be an easy way to fight my demons (agreements or a law book). Then I was forced to find it, meet someone and get guidance from one.

Sure enough, the day I found the shaman was the full moon in December, or the “Moon of the Long Night.” I was sitting at my desk getting ready to go home and decided to google Shaman, Grayslake (that’s the name of my town) for the hundredth time. Low and behold I got hit. There was a shaman holding sessions at a healing facility in my town. So I called and they just happened to have a spot available, I made an appointment not knowing what to expect. Up until that point, the closest I had come to having any energy healing session was reflexology on a cruise ship.

I got to my appointment, sat across the table from a normal looking white guy (not what I expected) and then the wild and crazy ride began. There were tears, laughter, spitting, choking, downloading numbers and formulas, resetting vibrational codes. I was told that I was a Pleiadian from another planet and that he and I had known each other for many lifetimes. He cried as he told me how much he had missed me. I was told that I was once a powerful healer and that in this lifetime I would go to Colorado to bring and anchor new healing energy. He saw 2 mighty fires coming into the world that were close to me. (My niece gave birth to a son that night and my daughter gave birth to a son a week later). He removed items from my energy body that only he could see, he fought with my ex-husband who was NOT in the room. It lasted 45 minutes. I don’t think I uttered more than five words; I actually fell into a trance-like state with my eyes open. The room had a yellow golden hue, his face had transformed into many faces. All I could think was WHAT THE @%^&* IS THIS! Then he gave me my sacred code. It was 6 pages of symbols and numbers. He lined them up, placed the sheet with the number 3.17 on top and placed the plastic protective sleeve. I was told to sleep on it, sit on it and ride on it. It was to become my companion. I was informed that the number 3.17 and symbols continue to unlock my vibrational code; they would change my current DNA. I left that night in the deepest, most uncomfortable “WTF” I’ve ever felt. You know the kind that makes you laugh and cry at the same time.

I was dazed and shocked. What did I just subject myself to? I couldn’t believe I was spending money on a crazy guy with a crazy message. Who was he, is this really what a shaman does? I never saw him again and he never returned to that treatment center. Sometimes I wonder if he was real.

So what does all this have to do with onions? As I said before, I have made great strides in gently ridding my life of fear-based beliefs and practices. I like to participate in ceremony to connect me to spirit; I love the scent of sage and palo santo to remind me that I am made of perfect white light that clears all energies that do not vibrate at the level of perfection. I love to enjoy the energy and medicine of crystals, mountains, lakes, rivers, oceans, prairies, animals, birds, the sky, the moon, the sun, and the universe as a whole. But I know that I know that I know that none of these things make me perfect, or make me great, or make me whole. I was created whole, I was created perfect, and I was created great. It would be denying one’s source, spirit, GOD, to think that any of these things could alter or enhance GOD’s perfection. I Am the perfection of my creator; I just forget sometimes and need reminders.

This short paragraph is where I confess my mild insanity. Here it goes… I’ve been sitting on this number and pile of paper for the past 2+ years? Why? I don’t know, but I did it religiously. Ugh, I’m glad I got that off my chest.

Then a trusted mentor advised me that I should burn them. I was mighty fired up to say the least. My thoughts went something like this; what, noooo i can’t burn them, they have my power, my number, my symbols. What happens? Pleiades download disconnect? As I continued my personal soul connection, I slowly began to see the light. Holy crap, I was sitting in fear the whole time and I didn’t even recognize it for what it was.

I am not the sum total of any number. My number is infinite, I am infinite. I tell people every day that I don’t direct healings; I say that I facilitate healing from a source that is omnipresent, omnipotent, omnipresent. We are all made of THIS. We are all entitled to this perfection and magnificence. This slippery son of a gun ego trapped me again. I sat blindly on these numbers and wrote about being fearless, researched about being fearless, meditated on being fearless, and taught about being fearless. How crazy is that? There went another layer of my infinite onion. The boy could feel the layer smelling to the heavens as it fell off.

I guess it was time. I created the ceremony; I beat my new drum, burned sage, sprinkled myself with Ohm spray, put some crystals in my pocket, said the rosary, grabbed my prayer cards, played Ohm Namah Shivaya Ohm really loud and burned that pile of paper. I created a moment to allow myself to remember who I really am. A being of divine perfection.

By the way, if I were a number, I would be pi. I have met some beautiful shamanic practitioners and continue to educate myself through shamanic path books and classes.

Peeling off,

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