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The Magical Happiness Formula
In school, we learned many formulas. Things were easier to analyze and check if they were defined by a formula. Knowing the formula tells us what we need to change in one input to affect the output.
Imagine how beautiful our lives could be if happiness also had a defined formula and if we knew exactly the factors on which it depended. It would all be so simple and logical if we knew what needs to be changed to increase the content of happiness in our lives. So, here we go. Let’s find out Magic formula for happiness.
Derivation Magic formula for happiness actually got triggered when one of my readers Biswajit (name changed) got in touch with us and expressed his happiness at having to stay away from his family due to the nature of his work. He was sad. Could he be any happier? Is there any good in staying away from family? Could he look at the given situation from a different perspective or rather from a formulaic perspective?
Biswajit’s “unhappy situation” stems from his belief that happiness lies somewhere within his family, or his belief that he can only feel happy when he can share things with his family and spend more time with them. While this belief may seem natural to most people, the fact is that the same situation affects different people differently.
So, let me try to give you a formula for happiness and let you rethink the whole situation.
Here we go together Magic formula for happiness:
Yours Luck = Yours Inner resilience / (divided) External pressure situation
So essentially there are two factors that control your happiness. Let’s take them one by one.
Let’s take the second one first.
1/ External pressure situation
Your happiness is inversely proportional to any external pressure situation.
This means that the greater the external pressure or the worse the external situation, the lower your happiness.
Now let’s understand a few things about this factor: “External Pressure Situation”:
1/ This factor always comes from outside you.
2/ It can take the form of any unwanted situation. These can be seemingly big situations like work stress, health problems, relationship problems, an unsolved death, an accident, your child’s low grades, intense competition, a deteriorating business environment, poor financial management – or even relatively minor situations like missing the bus, being late to the office, getting stuck in a traffic jam, your favorite side loses a match, an unexpected tax break, your child disobeys, your car has a scratch, etc.
3/ You have almost no control over this factor, especially in the short term. You can only react to it – mostly.
In Biswajit’s case, it was the fact that his family members were not with him, an external factor over which he had almost no control. it was impossible for him to tag along with his family wherever he traveled. The more time he spent away from his family, the worse the situation, the greater the pressure caused by this external factor, and the less happiness he felt.
In the short term, it is no immediate effect we can use this factor, but we can certainly think, plan and strategize our lives that way reduce or even remove the effect of this factor in the long term. As of now, Biswaji cannot quit his job to stay with his family or suddenly change jobs overnight to find one with less travel duties. But in the next few years, he can look for the right job or even plan for his financial freedom – where he is no longer dependent on his job – like I did. Yes, it’s a long-term strategy, but it’s the only thing that works for this factor.
2/ Internal resilience
Your happiness is directly proportional to the resilience (or resistance) you offer to these external pressures. This endurance may vary from person to person. The more you resist an external pressure situation, the greater your resilience and thus the greater the happiness content of your life (being directly proportional).
The most important point about the internal resilience factor is that this factor is internal to you – that is, you able to develop complete control over it and you can influence this factor to ultimately influence your happiness. You can build your inner endurance over time, similar to building muscle.
Your inner resilience is determined by how you think and act knowing that your current external situation is diminishing your Happiness.
How you can influence or improve your endurance:
Since Inner resilience It is thinking in a way that provides greater resistance to the external pressure situation, let’s continue with our dear friend Biswajit and his situation. Here are some thoughts that I suggested to him – that would have helped him improve his inner resilience:
1) Think about what this job has given you and your family. Has this job given you money to support your family, a privilege not everyone has? or pay bills? Isn’t your family in a better position in society today because of your work and the money that comes with it? What if you didn’t have the job?
2) Consider how temporary distances help us value each other in the long run. These distances will definitely help you appreciate the positive aspects of each family member – resulting in better and stronger relationships.
3) Think about what gifts you would give your wife and children when you go back home.
4) Think of some other surprise you would like to give them when you go back – like a new haircut or a fresh beard.
5) Take some pictures of where you are, send them over. Have more regular video chats with them.
6) Read good books when you are alone. Become a better and wiser person before you go back and meet them.
7) You have time to get fit. Work with your body. Surprise them with your fitness.
8) Try new places, new dishes in your area of stay and write down your new experiences for your family.
9) Make them a surprise visit or send them surprise tickets to meet you.
… and many others.
Do everything you can to improve your stamina. Our mind is very powerful. The more you think about these patterns, the more ideas it will generate to improve how you feel—which will lead to a chain reaction and further improve your resilience. This improved internal resilience, given the external pressure situation, therefore increases your happiness content (being directly proportional).
Why should you improve the content of your happiness?
One can argue the basic truth that why should we work on ourselves at all and improve the content of our Happiness at all. Well, you should – not for anyone else, but for yourself. Your own happiness is the ultimate goal of your life. There is no greater purpose than that. All your goals, passions and dreams are related to you the ultimate desire to feel happy. All your love and care for your family is tied to the fact that your family’s happiness gives you luck. All your social work and eagerness to uplift the world around you is because these things make you happier. God has sent us to this planet to experience maximum happiness and enjoy this beautiful journey of life. Don’t get caught up in your end goals.
The end is the same for everyone – what matters is a happy journey.
In the end, Biswajit’s happiness is his own responsibility. Having known Magic formula for happiness, Biswajit’s job is to see how he can influence both factors to begin improving the content of happiness in his life. His job is to change the long-term situation and take advantage of his time away from his family.
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