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Getting Your Wife Back by Understanding Why Women Typically Leave Men Or Want a Divorce
You probably already know that spouses initiate or file for divorce (or at least want to separate or leave the relationship for a while) for completely different reasons. Of course, every situation is unique and this isn’t always true, but it often is.
I am writing this article from the point of view of a woman whose husband previously initiated a divorce. In order to save my marriage, I studied every book, course, and expert advice I could get my hands on to find out how I could save my relationship and bring my husband back home. I learned a lot about why marriages end and why spouses leave.
As a result, I am often approached by both women and men who share their marital problems and issues with me. As a woman myself, and after talking to countless women who have written off their relationship or are seeking a divorce, I usually see a common theme among them.
Why women leave men: If a woman wants to leave or divorce, it is very likely that a marital problem (or more likely a problem)s – plural) rotted, deteriorated and fed on themselves for a long enough time. Most women are very loyal by nature and will let problems pile up and get really bad before finally taking action. This is very unfortunate because by the time a woman is truly fed up and walks out the door, there is usually quite a bit of damage already done and quite a bit of ground to make up.
Of course, there are societal issues and pressures that add to a woman’s frustration and encourage her to bottle up her feelings until it’s too late. Women are caregivers who generally have to take care of their husbands, children, bosses, businesses, parents and home. Throw in money or work stress and you’ll realize that we’ve often run on empty, but we don’t want to admit it and burden anyone else, so we bottle up our frustration until it boils over.
The truth is that caring for others is in our nature and often we don’t mind it. (We even get a lot of satisfaction from knowing that we are taking care of those we love). But (this is a huge one, but pay close attention) we want to be recognized, appreciated and loved for it. And if these issues cause us problems or questions, we want you to listen. Women generally don’t expect their husbands to solve their problems, but they would like a sounding board and a sympathetic ear just the same.
Learn from this and give your woman what she wants: Women absolutely hate being taken for granted. We can push this feeling aside and try to get short-term validation from our friends or ourselves, but in the end, we really resent it when people can rely on everything we do without showing appreciation. (Men often assume that they are good fathers or providers, that women know they are loved. Don’t make this mistake. Tell your wife (often) that you love and appreciate her, both verbally and through your actions.)
In addition, almost as much as anything else, women want to feel understood, valued and listened to. We really want you to reach out to us and understand what makes us tick, makes us happy, worries or scares us the same way our girlfriends do.
Now, we understand that this is unrealistic (because men and women are different), but we would like you to try and listen and pay attention just the same.
A spouse who needs your attention and appreciation is not high maintenance: Sometimes men mistakenly think that a woman’s need for attention, understanding, reassurance, and recognition is our “high maintenance.” This is a big mistake. We wouldn’t be so “needed” if you threw us a bone now and then. We want men to know that if they just took five minutes a day to listen to us, touch us gently and reassuringly every once in a while (without expecting anything in return), and firmly weave the word “thank you” into your daily vocabulary, we’d probably be very happy that way. with you and the marriage. It’s such a simple formula, but so few husbands really understand it.
Small gestures and affirmations are simple, take little time and are very important for women: The little things that show love and appreciation make such a big difference and are the glue that holds a marriage together. Unfortunately, the truth is that if you don’t give these things to your wife, she will eventually give up and look for them elsewhere. She may become disillusioned and leave the marriage, rely more on her friends than her husband, or become vulnerable to another man who has learned to be a friendly, safe, and reassuring “good listener.” Everyone knows a man who is not very attractive or rich, but all women are attracted to him. Why? Because he has mastered the art of showing women respect, appreciation and an understanding shoulder to lean on. Be that man for your woman. It’s not hard and you can do it.
Give your wife what she needs before it’s too late: Use what I told you and give your wife what she needs. Now you don’t want to be explicit with this or the harp. You also need this behavior to be very genuine and you need to make it a daily priority in your life. Trust me, your wife will notice. He may be a little suspicious at first, but if you wait with him and continue to do what you need, he will eventually realize that you are sincere.
Getting a wife back if she has already left or initiated a divorce: If your wife has already left, written off the relationship, or filed for divorce, it’s harder to get her to listen to you and send you back home, but it’s certainly not impossible (and if you do it right, you’ll strengthen your relationship and your marriage and be happier and more satisfied with both.)
You just need to take some very deliberate steps to restore trust, appreciation and intimacy. He may not be receptive at first because you’ve waited too long, but this is where your genuine patience and love and appreciation for him come into play. If you take the right steps (at the right time) to gradually rebuild a loving relationship and start showing her that you can provide her with what she needs, you can eventually reverse the damage and build something new together.
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