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Help Kids Flourish With This 3-1 Ratio
After twenty years of research, the formula for prosperity has been discovered! In the new book, Positivity, there are two exciting, interconnected ideas that will increase your family’s contentment and happiness. The author, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, is a top researcher at the forefront of the Positive Psychology movement.
Big Concept #1: Positivity ratio 3:1. “We need three positive emotions to lift us up for every negative emotion that pulls us down,” says Fredrickson. Respectful, kind and encouraging words can stop the downward spiral and activate the upward spiral, increasing contentment and happiness. This 3:1 ratio of positive to negative emotions is necessary to create the uplifting and expansive growth of the Borrow and Build theory.
Big Concept #2: The “borrow and build” theory explains that increasing positive emotions creates an upward and outward spiral. This is because positive emotions make people more open, expansive, creative and flexible. As a result of more positive emotions, people become healthier, more resilient and have better relationships. Science has given us answers to the question: “What are the benefits of good emotions?”
The founder of positive psychology, Professor Martin Seligman Ph.D. takes this concept a step further by stating that “positive emotions cancel out negative emotions.” The 3:1 method can actually stop a downward spiral to start an upward “good-thing-is-better-healing” spiral and even undo negativity in the process. Try it in your family. Introduce and maintain lots of positive activities—comfort, support, encouragement, and play—and notice what happens.
So if you ever feel like you blew it (like yelling at your kids), remember the 3:1 ratio. By consciously giving them three positive messages, they can stay focused on your love and your family will move upward and outward.
Finally, Dr. Fredrickson suggests simple ways to be positive: “Easily create a mindset of positivity—be open, be grateful, be curious, be kind, but most of all, be real.”
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