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The Golden Rules – A Survival Guide to Dating in the 21st Century
“I’m confused. If I’m really as intelligent, attractive, charming and successful as people say, why am I still single? Why can’t I find someone??”
Now be honest, how many times have you cried yourself to sleep asking this question?
You read this article with skepticism, but still in your head; you secretly hope it contains some magic solution or proven set of simple instructions that will help you finally find that elusive “right” network. You quickly glance at the title of this article again, and this time the words “The Golden Rules of Dating” catch your eye.
“The golden rules of dating? There are just too many right now,” you grumble. Very true indeed. And you’ll also notice that most of them actually have the promise of bringing you one step closer to capturing the heart of that “special” person you’ve had your eye on.
To be honest, I didn’t even know there were actually dating rules to follow until I was twenty-one, and I’ve had quite a few flings and relationships. Before that, I had always stuck to the 21st century way of doing things – i.e. go to the pub, make eye contact with a girl you think is really hot, start making out, and if you’re lucky – a lot more.
Sounds pretty easy and effortless, huh?
Well, this spontaneous approach to dating has led me into several casual relationships with a variety of women, from a petite model with that creepy lazy eye and evil-looking crooked smile, to a cute waitress who looked absolutely gorgeous in the dark, but then looked completely different in the light , when a hot and sexy catwalk dancer who had this uncanny ability to neigh and roar like a noble steed also had this weird foot fetish that I don’t even want to GET INVOLVED in. The bottom line? It’s been a rollercoaster, that’s for sure.
When I finally got to twenty-one, I discovered that there were actually different rules that I didn’t even know existed. I came to know about them only after reading several books and browsing various websites.
And you know what else I discovered? I discovered that it is actually a JUNGLE. A jungle of men who speak in simple black and white and women who are programmed to decode every minute aspect of male behavior.
I just saw “She’s Not That Into You” the other day, and as embarrassing as it may seem, I think I have a movie crush (aww damn!). The movie was realistic, the script was accurate, the characters were smart and witty, and most importantly, the movie dealt with a topic close to our hearts – dating in the 21st century.
“People just don’t meet organically anymore. If I want to make myself more attractive to the opposite sex, I don’t go get a new haircut – I update my profile,” Drew Barrymore laments in the film. frustration.
Did those words just not hit home?
Here’s something interesting that I’ve noticed over the past five years: I’ve noticed that a large number of dating gurus, dating rotators, artists, and self-help authors have suddenly emerged in large numbers armed with their hands. your own unique dating rules. Each also claims that their own distinctive set of rules is the ultimate magic formula for success in the dating game.
The funny thing is that many people just decided to blindly follow these rules without really researching and going into the details.
In the end, most people were just mystified, baffled, baffled and dare I say it? Still ALONE.
You know why?
Because most of these dating rules were just too cryptic and too absurd. In the end, it caused hundreds of single people to pull their hair out one by one in frustration and quit the entire dating scene altogether. Most of them have now decided to just stay home and watch reruns of Sex and the City while shaking their heads and saying to themselves, “Carrie Bradshaw is so right… so, so right” over and over again. .
Well, this is actually more for single women, whereas most single men are probably just surfing online porn.
Am I right or am I right?
Now there are hundreds of dating rules written down, it’s just crazy. When you surf the net or go to your nearest bookstore, I bet you are bombarded with hundreds of dating rules, from seduction rules to love rules to online dating rules and so on and so forth.
Since when did the dating scene get so damn complicated?? Whatever happened to the old saying that “if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be?”
Oops. . . I think I just let my inner little girl out there for a second. Sorry, my mistake.
After sifting through all the rules and exceptions to the rules we are constantly bombarded with, I’ve come to the conclusion that there is one glaring truth to it all, and that is that the dating scene isn’t what it used to be. to be. Never in my wildest dreams could I have predicted that 21st century dating would be the era of online chatting, texting, emailing, facebooking, myspacing and googling.
Welcome to the digital age my friend.
The sad thing is that the digital age seems to have erased any thought of spontaneously finding the ‘right one’.
To be honest, I’m still a hopeless romantic at heart. You can call me a muse, a romantic fool, or even a little girl waiting for her big fat crush to finally arrive – Awww . . .
The bottom line? I guess I’m not alone either. I think most of us still have that secret hope of finding “the one” – even though no one would admit it outright.
Ironically, while I know dating rules play an important role in the dating jungle, I believe, at least initially, that at some stage they are actually meant to be broken. Here’s the problem with most dating rules: they rely too heavily on ancient philosophies of femininity and masculinity. They also hold back the most important ingredient in falling in love – our GUT. Instead of something that should be enjoyable and liberating between two people, these rules make the whole dating experience so difficult to understand.
If I’ve learned anything from all my experiences, it’s that sometimes you just have to break the rules if you want to be happy. Because the fact is, even if you follow religious rules, there is still no guarantee that you will live happily ever after. Let’s face it, situations arise and change all the time in the dating field, so there can’t be one “perfect” formula or set of rules, because the only thing that’s truly constant is CHANGE.
Sometimes it’s not even about following or breaking the rules. Sometimes it’s just luck or even divine intervention that helps you land the man or woman of your dreams. Like it or not, in the end it all comes down to one solid fact:
If you want to WIN the dating game, you have to PLAY the game.
If you don’t like the game, you are more than welcome to sit on the bench, because there are plenty of other players who are hurting for some match time. It may take months or even years to find that elusive “right one”, you may not even find him in the end. But at least your odds go up if you submit the application form.
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