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How to Get Over a Broken Heart – 5 Tips for Getting Over a Broken Heart
Trying to figure out how to get over a broken heart is a terrible place to be. Your relationship is over, you feel hurt and you want something to take the pain away. I understand what you are going through and I know how bad it feels. And while everyone has a different way of healing a broken heart, there are 5 tips that should be the cornerstone of any breakup recovery plan.
1) Remember that healing a broken heart is a process
Getting over a divorce is a painful process, and being angry, frustrated, and confused is part of that process. So are crying, sadness and sleep disturbances. You may even find yourself daydreaming about your ex and losing interest in activities that normally excite you. If any of this has happened to you, you can rest assured that everything is fine. In fact, all of these things are completely normal after a breakup. Yes, even dreaming about your ex. It’s just your subconscious mind trying to process the loss and get over it on its own.
In fact, you can speed up the recovery process by allowing all of these feelings to come up and let them go as they do. I know it’s not very comfortable, but acknowledging the pain and working through it is one of the most important steps in healing a broken heart. So give yourself time to grieve the loss. It’s okay to feel down and not know how it’s all going to work out. Give yourself permission not to know now and trust that these experiences will reveal their true value to you. For now, just be where you are and be at peace with it.
2) Understand that not all relationships are meant to last
Most relationships end, and most people who date end up breaking up. I know this may sound like a very negative and cynical view of relationships, but this is the reality of life when you look at the big picture. Just look around you, I certainly don’t need to tell you how high the divorce rate is.
My point is that most people just don’t belong and it’s only a matter of time before they realize that and decide to break up. It’s an inevitable part of the dating process, and if you can accept it as a natural part of dating, you’ll have a much easier time getting over a breakup.
If you accept that your whole life you’ve been in a relationship that just doesn’t work out, you can stop blaming yourself for what you might consider a “failure.” What we are often so quick to write off as a “failed relationship” is actually a valuable lesson when we stop to reflect on the relationship and learn from it.
3) Reflect on the relationship and learn from it
When we meet, we learn more about ourselves and how we communicate with others. But more importantly, we gain a better understanding of what we really want in a relationship and what we are absolutely not willing to put up with.
Instead of just writing it off as another failed relationship, reflect on what happened and learn from it. If you can gain more self-awareness from this relationship and move on with your life with a much better idea of what you really want, then the relationship was a success in its own right. Sure, it may not be successful in the traditional sense—a marriage where two people lived happily ever after—but it’s still successful because it taught you some very important lessons about yourself, relationships, and life in general. If you can see these things, you can be grateful for what you learned instead of feeling bad that it went wrong.
“Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They break you and build you up so you can be all you are meant to be.” ~Charles Jones
So take this opportunity to become the person you deserve. You probably put up with things in your relationship that you shouldn’t have put up with. Well, now you don’t have to put up with it anymore. You are free. All the stress and drama your relationship caused you is gone. You now have a fresh bundle of clay and are free to mold it however you want.
Sometimes we have to get hurt to grow and we have to fail to learn.
We must lose to win because some lessons are best learned through pain.
4) Rediscover who you are without this relationship
Relationships affect us on a very deep level, especially when we truly love someone. In fact, sometimes they can even make us lose a part of ourselves. Now is the time to remember who you are again.
Start by making a list of the things you want to accomplish in life to remind yourself of where you want to go. What interests do you have that you have ignored for a long time? What are some things you haven’t done for yourself that you would like to do again? Getting to know yourself and getting to know your desires for the future is crucial to getting over a breakup or divorce.
5) Use this time to create the life of your dreams
As you begin to pursue your dreams again, you may realize how much you have lost in your codependent relationship. You must have forgotten how much you love making music, playing sports or working out. If you’ve lost your job or your hours have been cut due to your relationship, consider starting over and finding a career that truly inspires and fulfills you.
Find what makes you truly happy and do what you love. That way, you can be happy with yourself even if one particular relationship doesn’t work out. Remember that nothing should have the power to take over your life and affect you like this. Rediscover your inner strength and build yourself stronger than ever, so you’ll never feel so weak and helpless again.
While everyone’s journey to getting over a breakup is different, these 5 steps are the cornerstone of any breakup recovery plan and crucial to moving on with life.
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