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Bullies: How You Can Help When Your Teenager Is In Trouble
Bullying can be difficult to understand, especially if you were never bullied as a child. However, it can be very devastating for your teenager. Not only is your teenager feeling hurt, but they can often feel lonely, depressed, scared, and hollow. Bullying is not something that should be a rite of passage for anyone. If you think your teen is being bullied, there are steps you can take to address the problem.
What is bullying?
Bullying can take many aggressive forms, such as verbal, physical or relational. When girls bully, it is usually verbal, while boys use physical threats and actions. Regardless of the form used, it can make your teen feel:
Hurt, angry, helpless, scared, isolated and ashamed. Long-term bullying can often make teenagers feel suicidal.
Physical health deteriorates; it can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and PTSD.
Why does bullying happen?
Bullying is not uncommon; Studies show that 25% of children experience it in their lifetime, so your teen may not be the only one. Bullies usually target someone based on social status in a peer group or your appearance.
Bullies tend to focus on people who are considered “different” or who may not fit in with a certain crowd. This could be because of the way your teenager dresses or behaves. It can be as simple as being the new kid at school.
Tips for dealing with bullying
There is no easy formula for dealing with a bully. You may need to try many strategies before you find one that works for you. However, it is important to maintain self-control when dealing with a bully, as the bully is usually looking for a reaction.
- Understand what bullying is –Walking away from the bully is the best course of action. Bullies seek to control your emotions. By walking away, you show that only you are in control.
- Always report bullying to an adultBullying can often escalate into physical violence if it goes unreported. Adults have more power to help and can usually defuse the situation without the bully knowing they’ve been reported.
You may need to do this more than once, as bullies may repeat themselves.
- Develop a support system with people who don’t bully – Having people in your life that you can turn to for support and encouragement can go a long way. Find friends who share your interests and values. If things get tough, share your feelings with a parent or counselor.
What parents and teachers can do to stop bullying
You may not realize it, but you play a big role in helping your teen stop bullying. By creating a stress-free environment at home and at school, you can reduce the anxiety associated with bullying. Bullying is a widespread problem, but there are still many misconceptions about bullying among teachers and parents alike.
How to spot signs that your teen is being bullied
Bullying is not always obvious to adults as it often happens in hallways or on the way home from school. Bullies usually try to hide their behavior from adults, but victims often hide evidence out of shame.
Take steps to stop bullying
- Talk to your teen about bullying – Just talking to your teen about bullying can make the anxiety go away. Listen to your child’s feelings without judgment and be supportive.
- Limit things that go to school – If your teen is experiencing bullying because of their behavior, address the problem by sending a packed lunch instead of money, or leave all gadgets (such as phones and iPods) at home.
- Seek help – If your child is afraid of a bully, the last thing you want is for them to miss school because of this problem. Make sure teachers and coaches are aware that your child is being bullied. No teenager should have to deal with this problem alone.
- Make sure your teen isn’t isolated – Teenagers who have a good group of friends usually cope better with bullying. Find even more ways to expand your social circle through groups or clubs.
If you are looking for help dealing with teenage bullying and need guidance, contact one of our life coaches. They provide you with strategic tools to help you build a support system for your teen and help you regain control of the situation.
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